


Your Body Language Is Telling Me That You’re Worth The Pain

by roxashasboxers



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, BDSM, Bondage, Consent Issues, First Time Bottoming, Kendall has daddy issues, Kendall is in denial, Kink Meme, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Power Play, Role Reversal, bottom!Kendall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-13
Updated: 2010-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 14:14:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxashasboxers/pseuds/roxashasboxers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt fill for the Big Time Rush Kink Meme: Kendall has topped throughout their relationship, but now James wants a turn. He somehow convinces Kendall to bottom for him (maybe for his birthday or as a dare?) and Kendall ends up loving it. Extra special cookies for bondage!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Body Language Is Telling Me That You’re Worth The Pain

**Author's Note:**

> So confession time. When I thought my prompt wasn't going to be filled, I actually did start on it myself. (Yep, I can get that desperate...) Then, when it was filled, I forgot about it. I found this a few nights ago and figured what the hell? I'll finish it up. So, I give you major kinkage with a generous dollop of fluff! Title taken from the song "Practice Makes Perfect" by Cute Is What We Aim For.

"Um, James? Are you sure about this?" I ask nervously, eyes darting up to my wrists.  
  
"You said anything I want." James reminds me, checking the knots again.  
  
I frown, "Yeah, but..."  
  
"Look, we don't have to do this if you really don't want to, but would you at least give it a chance? If you don't like it, we'll stop...I promise." James pleads, and he looks so damn desperate for me to say yes that there's really no other choice.  
  
"Fine." I huff, letting my head fall back onto the pillow, jerking back up a few seconds later to look at him again, "But I swear to God, you better fucking stop if-"  
  
"Jesus, Kendall! I know, okay? I'm not gonna do anything unless you want me to." James cuts me off, annoyed. His expression softens, "I wouldn't hurt you, you know that, right?"  
  
I nod, feeling a bit guilty for doubting him. James grins, satisfied that I won't break free, "Okay, remember your safe-word?"  
  
I flex my hands as I answer, "Hockey-pucks."  
  
"Good." He leans down to kiss me, tongue snaking out to trace my lips. I open my mouth, pressing back, my own tongue thrusting forth. James retreats and I stretch my neck up to follow but he breaks the kiss. I growl, "C'mon, man!"  
  
James sits back on his heels, still straddling my bare stomach, and frowns at me, "You really don't get this whole 'D/S' thing, do you? I'm in charge, remember."  
  
I sigh, fighting an eye roll at his almost-whine, "Okay, sorry. It won't happen again."  
  
"You promise?" He raised his brows doubtfully.  
  
I hesitate, "...Yeah. I promise."  
  
"Now..." James flashes a smile, "Let's get you naked."  
  
He slides down my body, eyes locked onto mine as he unbuckles my belt. James smirks as he flicks the button open and pulls my zipper down teasingly. I bite my lip to keep from telling him to hurry up, and lift my hips so he can slide my jeans off, eyes widening when my boxers are removed as well.  
  
James kneels by my feet, eyes moving across my nude body. I squirm, feeling vulnerable and exposed with him still fully clothed. I've never been the only one naked and that, along with the way James is looking at me, is uncomfortable. My breath speeds up, chest growing a bit tight as I subconsciously fight my bindings. James crawls forward and grabs my hands to still their movement, "Stop it."  
  
I freeze but he doesn't let go for several more seconds. When he does, his hands move down my arms and to my shoulders and neck, over my chest and stomach. He chuckles when he feels the muscles beneath his fingers jump. I glare at him, "James!"  
  
He stills, eyes finding mine, daring me to try and take control, "Yeah?"  
  
I swallow, "Uh, n-nothing."  
  
James watches me for a moment before looking back at his hands. He traces the ridges of my abdomen, fingers soft and gentle as he moves back upward. He pulls away, but the heat of his hands linger. I watch with wary eyes as he slowly moves off of me to stand. He undoes each button on his shirt with the utmost care, teasingly opening them out of order. When they're all open he moves to his jeans, looking down with the pretense of needing to see to undo pants in order to hide his smirk.  
  
I growl quietly, frustrated that the damn shirt is still on him, his stance keeping it almost closed. I glare at him, "Dude, hurry up!"  
  
James stills his hands, fly open and damn his boxers for conspiring against me and blocking my view! Fucking Snoopy. He grins, looking up through his bangs, "Why? Not like you're going anywhere."  
  
"James!" He is so fucking lucky for those knot-tying lessons in boy scouts because if I could get free, he would be on the fucking floor, screaming my name. James either doesn't know this, or simply doesn't care (My bet's on the latter) because he seems to go even slower now, slipping his jeans down his legs teasingly. He kicks them off and holds his arms out, letting his shirt flutter to the ground. He slips a finger into his boxers (About goddamn time!) and slides those to pool at his feet as well. He looks back at me, all mock-innocence, "I'm sorry, did you want something?  
  
I glare at him and he laughs as he climbs back onto me, "Patience, Kendall. You can't rush perfection." He leans in as he says this, hands angling my face so he can access my neck. My eyes fall shut. He starts licking and biting at my skin, abusing my flesh any way he can. I moan quietly, arching into his touches. I can feel him grin at that and the motherfucker is so dead! After this, though.   
  
James moves down, hands stroking my ribs as he does. He latches onto the skin just above my clavicle, sucking hard and it feels amazing. I stare up at the ceiling through lust-glazed eyes, jerking when I suddenly feel a slick finger dip into my entrance.  
  
"James..." I gasp.  
  
"Shh. Just relax... Remember, you can stop this anytime." James soothes, granting me the illusion of being in control as he pumps his finger, "You're doing great, Ken. You ready for more?"  
  
I bite my cheek, nodding.  _Do it for James. You_ did _say anything he wanted_.  
  
I feel him nudging a second digit into me and it hurts. It's not excruciating or anything, but it's more than the uncomfortably weird feeling of seconds before that almost had me squirming. I exhale slowly, eyes closed.  
  
They fly open again when he starts moving, scissoring his fingers in an effort to open me up. I cringe at the feeling. James kisses my stomach, soothing, free hand stroking me as a means of redirecting my attention, "Relax. I'm not gonna do anything until you're ready."  
  
I don't respond, too distracted by the invasive feeling between my legs. James doesn't seem to mind my silence, though, because he keeps pressing his long fingers into me. I stretch my leg out blindly until my knee touches his shoulder. I try to focus on the warmth of his skin against mine instead of the almost-pain where it shouldn't be.  
  
James growls in frustration, "Where the fuck is it?"  
  
I frown, climbing out of my daze, "Where's wha- Mother _fuck!_ "  
  
James grins, "Found it."  
  
I gasp for air as James keep running his fingers over the same spot, making me shudder and sweat, "W-What the- the hell-?"  
  
"Prostate." James explains and I would roll my eyes if I could think straight.  _Of course_  I know it's my prostate; I've fucked James countless times - I  _know_  about the place that drives him wild. It's just that I didn't expect to have a similar reaction.  
  
I whimper as James presses a little harder. Yeah, I can totally see why gay guys like this. It's kind of awesome.  
  
James, however, does not like this whole 'Kendall-is-having-the-epiphany-of-the-millennium' thing I have going on - the bastard - and decides to suddenly removes his fingers, allowing me a second realization: There is such thing as justifiable homicide when it comes to people killing their significant others.  
  
I growl, bucking my hips desperately, "You can't just  _stop!_ "  
  
James laughs, "Calm down. I can't fuck you with my fingers in your ass."  
  
Okay, he has a point there. Doesn't mean I have to acknowledge it though. James reaches over my head to grab the supplies he'd laid out earlier and I pretty much zone out until his face comes back into view, "You ready?"  
  
I hesitate.  _This is it._  I bite my lip, looking into James' earnest eyes and that's the tie breaker right there, "Y-yeah. Yeah, I'm ready.  
  
James smiles brightly, placing a chaste kiss on my lips. He grabs my left leg and hooks it over his shoulder. I wrap my right around his waist and he lines up. I bend my neck back, eyes locked on my hands.  
  
I groan as James starts to press in, my fists clenched so hard I can feel the bite of my nails. My teeth dig into my lip and all I can think about is how much it  _hurts_. He's a lot bigger than a couple of fingers. Jesus Christ, how does James do this, not to mention  _like_  it? Fuck what all those people say; this is not fun! And dear  _God_ , I'm a horrible person for putting the most beautiful man in the world through this much pain on a daily basis.  
  
I freeze when a hand touches my cheek, suddenly aware that I've been straining against the bandannas and that my wrists are chafing. James' thumb strokes my face and I'm horrified to feel that it's wet with my own tears, "Kendall?"  
  
I shake my head, teeth clenched.  _Not now. Don't talk to me now. If you make me talk, I'll just tell you to stop. I can't let you stop._  
  
"Open your eyes, Kendall. Baby, come on, look at me."  _I can't, James. Don't ask me t- Wait! He did_ not _just call me 'baby'._  
  
"Kendall? Talk to me, babe. Do you want to stop?"  _Okay, maybe he did. So kicking his ass later. If I live through this._  
  
I shake my head again. No way am I backing out now. James will never let me live that down. "N-no. 'm fine. Just do it."  
  
"Are you sure?" James asks, voice still soft, like he's scared I'll break.  
  
"Yes, I'm fucking sure! Now hurry up and let's get this over with." I spit, glaring at him. Guilt flickers across James' face, but it's quickly replaced by determination.  
  
"Fine." He says, snapping his hips forward and burying himself inside me in one swift movement. All the air leaves my lungs and I can't fucking breathe. I gasp as he pulls back and struggle to stifle a sob at the intrusion. It's like I'm being torn apart and why the  _hell_ didn't I just tell him to stop? Fucking pride.  
  
James, obviously upset with me, ignores my distress and pulls back out just to slam into me again. I feel my body slide up the bed with the force of his thrust and whimper. He grips my hips tightly and yanks me back to meet him, an act that reminds me of James' strength and temper. It's been a long time since I've found myself on the receiving end of such fierce anger and fuck if it doesn't scare the hell out of me.   
  
He slams into me relentlessly until I'm sobbing so hard my chest hurts and trying to remember my safe word. His nails are digging into my side and I'm choking on my own tears, begging like a goddamn pussy for him to just  _stop_ , "I'm sorry! Fuck,  _please stop!"_  
  
He doesn't, just grips my jaw and forces his tongue into my mouth. I consider biting down, but his hold won't allow it. His hips don't slow a bit, just piston back and forth as he pounds into my trembling body, tears streaming down my face. I claw at my binds, skin rubbing raw, " _Jam-!_ "  
  
My voice breaks when everything suddenly flashes white. What the fucking fuck was  _that_? James dives in to strike that same spot again and I can feel tremors throughout my entire body, pleasure coursing through me and I'm suddenly begging for more, "Holy fuck,  _James!_ "  
  
I writhe, my entire body on edge and my mind unsure what to focus on. It's like every touch, every sensation is increased tenfold and I'm drowning in lust and ecstasy and JamesJamesJames. The fingers gripping my hips and the sweat rolling down my neck and James' tongue lapping it up and that intimate painpleasurewhatever deep inside of me fight for my attention. My toes curl and my back arches and my skin feels heated, like a day old sunburn, and James just keeps going, setting off fireworks in my body, "Take it, Kendall. Take it and scream my fucking name."  
  
I forget my morals and principles and everything that had kept me from doing this in the first place and surrender myself to the feeling, "J-James! Harder! Fuck, please!"  
  
He somehow complies, pounding into me. I scream obscenities and pleas until his mouth captures my own. I give over the last of my control with an elated sob, coming hard onto our stomachs. My vision flickers and the last thing I hear is James gasping out my name.  
  
  
  
When I wake up, the closeness of James' body is the first thing I'm aware of. The second is how sore my own is. My arms ache and there's an pain in my backside that'll be there for days, I'm sure.  
  
I groan.  
  
"You alright?" A voice asks from way too close and I jump, hissing at the movement. James chuckles.  
  
I glare at the wall, refusing to look at him, "I'm fine."  
  
"You still mad?" James asks.  
  
I turn my head to face him, stopping when the movement causes strain and settle for looking at the ceiling, "Of fucking course I'm mad! I told you to stop and you didn't!"  
  
James quirks an eyebrow, "You didn't use your safe word. It doesn't count."  
  
"I couldn't fucking remember it, asshole!" I growl, and dammit! It's like he doesn't even care! "You just-! You know what, James? Just go fuck yourself." I sigh, pulling the sheets tighter around me.  
  
He shakes his head, "Not possible. Besides, I think you liked it."  
  
I scoff, "Oh yeah, I just  _love_  being in pain. Fucking fantastic."  
  
I feel James shift behind me and suddenly one of his hands comes into view. He presses a thumb into the bruise forming in the dip of my collarbone, eliciting a hiss from me, "But you do. You like knowing that I could do anything to you and you couldn't fight me."  
  
I start to deny as much, but he keeps talking, "It turns you on, doesn't it? How easily I can overpower you?"  
  
He presses down again and I gasp at the heated pain, "Kendall?"  
  
"Fuck, James..." I swallow, eyes wide.  
  
"Tell me, Kendall." He prompts, and it'd be so cheesy if his lips weren't pressed against my ear, tongue darting out to trace the shell, "Tell me how hot it makes you to be dominated. Tell me how much you get off on me taking control."  
  
"I- James, I don't-"  
  
"You  _do_. You came so hard you blacked out. You love it. You love being able to let go, knowing I'll take care of you." James whispers, nuzzling my cheek, "I know you try so hard to be the strong one, always the leader, but you don't have to be. You can break. You know I'll put you back together. You just gotta give yourself to me, Kendall."   
  
I blink back tears that I can't explain, shivering as James runs his hands over my chest and plants kisses along my jaw. "Can you do that? Can you let me take care of you?"  
  
"Stop." I plea.  _Just stop._  
  
James stills for a moment, "Why? You scared?"  
  
"No."  
  
"But you are. You're scared to let me in. You're scared to give yourself up. You're scared to be loved."  
  
"James-" I whimper, voice cracking.  
  
"I'm not your father, Kendall." James soothes and the tears start racing down my face. I gasp, breaking into sobs. James wraps an arm around me, shushing me softly.  
  
When I'm finally calm, silent aside from the occasional hiccup, James leans around and kisses me. "Let me take care of you."   
  
I don't answer, but I turn my head to face him and James presses our lips together again. I feel his tongue beg entrance, and after a moment's debate, I let him in.   
  
James is gentle, easing me onto my back at gently as he can. His hand slips beneath the sheets, trailing down my body. His movements are gentle, and he brings me off with slow strokes that make my chest ache. I feel like such a girl for crying but James doesn't seem to care. He holds me close and I nod, "Okay."


End file.
